April 19, 2007. The day my life changed forever. It started with a phone call in the morning. The DHS worker had been scheduled to bring our contract to sign in the afternoon. She called to ask if she could bring a baby boy when she brought the contract. He had spent a couple of nights in the hospital because of bone fractures and had spent one night at the shelter. Because of his injuries they wanted to get him into a home right away. So sudden and unexpected. My mom asked if she could call back with an answer. Her big concern was that he might cry a lot if he was in pain and would he cry all night? We prayed and said, well why not?
April 19, 2007. The caseworker walked through the front door that afternoon, contract in one hand baby carrier in the other.
A beautiful baby boy sleeping peacefully with a pacifier. A naive 24 year old who had no idea what was in store. And a "mimi" who wasn't "Mimi" yet because the infant was too young for us to have to worry about titles. All three of us were facing one hard journey. Good thing we didn't know it at the time!
That day all we knew was the baby had injuries; his arm was in a makeshift sling thanks to the shelter staff. We scrambled to gather baby supplies and make sense of all the paperwork and what was happening. He was scheduled to have an MRI and full body scan within the week in order to assess all the injuries.
The goal was reunification with his parents. We could expect to have him for 6 months-1 year. Still we had no idea what that involved and were completely clueless as to how the court and child welfare system functioned. Looking back I realize I was so naive!
April 24, 2007
It has been an absolute delight to have Daniel here...even though it is a lot of work :) He is such a beautiful baby and so much fun! Babies are so neat! I didn't realize how amazing and fun they are.
May 28, 2007
Having Daniel here is bittersweet. I love being with him and taking care of him. It's always in the back of my mind that I am going to give him up someday
DHS asks that foster parents keep "life books" for each child so that they can take it with them when they move to another placement or return to their parents. We took pictures and I began working on a book for him, keeping track of his developmental milestones and other fun things. At various times we gave pages to his biological mother as well as kept pages here. I had planned to write letters to Daniel that I would send with him so that he would have a record of how much I loved him even though I figured that if he moved after a year he wouldn't remember me. This was the first letter I composed:
May 9, 2007
Dear Daniel,
I just put you down for a nap after rocking you to sleep; you looked so peaceful and adorable! Tomorrow it will be three weeks that you have been in our home.
It has been so much fun to watch you grow and change! In the short time that you have been here we have watched you learn to suck your fingers, hold things, start to laugh, and kick your arms and legs.
I love to sit and "talk" with you and see you smile and laugh. I also love to watch you when you start kicking and waving your arms so energetically!
I didn't know it was possible to love a little baby so much. I feel that through your life God is teaching me so much about His love, and that He's also going to continue to teach me about true, agape love. I know that God wants me to learn to love with the kind of love that wants what is best for someone else.
You are so special and so loved. I really believe God has great things for your life and every day I pray that God's purpose for your life will be fulfilled. The first weeks you were here, I prayed for you all those nights that I got up to feed you. I will always have good memories of those nights I fed you and prayed for you and sang to you :)
The next few months were a learning experience for sure. I hope to write more about it soon. But for now, I'm tired!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Before April 19, 2007
Tomorrow, April 19, 2012, marks five years since Daniel was brought to our home. I hope to write more about it tomorrow--if I can find the time--but I recently pulled out old journals to reflect on the months leading up to Daniel's arrival. I plan to share some excerpts from my journal entries here...because at the time I had no idea what was coming!
January 20, 2006
I had a lovely dream last night. I remember nothing except sitting with a little boy on my lap. He was about 4 years old, had a sweatsuit on and had beautiful dark hair. I was hugging him (had my arms around him from behind). He was laughing and I had my head against his--with his pretty hair.
(I had forgotten all about that dream until Daniel was about 3 and one day I was sitting with him and flashed back to that dream, because his hair was the very same as the boy in my dream. So I hunted through my journals until I found that entry.)
Feb 10, 2006
...today I was thinking about all the teens in foster care that no one wants.... I would totally take teenagers.... (I must have been thinking way down the road since I was 23 at the time)
I had other ideas that went along with this. It seems kind of silly and far out but last night I was so excited to think about it that I was ready to plant my garden today! I can't take a foster kid today but I need to remember that today is today and tomorrow is not yet. I would even consider adoption.
March 9, 2006
Our foster parenting plans have taken quite a few variations and now we've settled on doing respite for therapeutic kids. It wasn't what I wanted but that's okay. Anyway we have a lot of stuff to do before the end of the month.
March 20, 2006
Last night we went to the shelter (DHS shelter) I love going there even though it breaks my heart. I just want to take the kids home. We plan to be certified through Bair at the end of this month. We are finishing up our last requirements.
April 9, 2006
We got certified for foster parenting this past Wednesday. I am so excited! I can't wait until we actually have a child here :)
Up until that time I had been struggling in my Christian walk and was in a time of deep discouragement. It was in April of 2006 that God totally turned my life around and I was revived spiritually. Our home was certified through the Bair Foundation which was a Christian agency that placed children who were considered "therapeutic." That meant they required a higher level of training and care because they frequently had emotional issues and often were on medication (or several medications as we soon found out)
During the rest of 2006 we provided respite care for over a dozen children ranging in age from 2-17. Often it was just for a weekend. Perhaps sometime I'll write more about that, but for now I will say that it was not easy! It was very stretching and I realized how much of God's love one really needs in order to truly love a hurting child or teenager. A brief excerpt from my journal December 2006 reads "Today we get the next two girls. Last weekend was hard. It was intense. Sometimes it was so hard to see past the external behaviors and attitudes and really love the girls. I had compassion and I know they both had a lot of hurts and needs, but the intensity of the situation would at times make me want to shut down and not want to love them. Fostering is really hard."
As the time drew closer for us to have to be re-certified through Bair, they were trying to find a young child to place in our home for longer term. Every child that was going to be placed ended up being placed in a different home. At that time we made the decision to leave Bair and be certified for "regular" foster care directly through DHS.
March 30, 2007
We're picking up our Bair papers next Tuesday so we are officially going with DHS. I'm excited. Last night on the news they were talking about the waiting child program. It just breaks my heart to see that!!!
April 2, 2007
(We had been at a house church meeting the day before) Yesterday _____ taught on "transition." It was good and thought-provoking. Sometimes it would be nice to know what I am transitioning to. I need discernment right now.
And then I followed that entry with several verses....though the verses speak of sons and also Mary's words to God which I have since referenced, at the time I believe I wrote the verses in regards to prayer. At least that is my recollection.
"And Hannah was in bitterness of soul and prayed unto the Lord and wept sore. And she vowed a vow and said, O Lord of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a manchild, then I will give him unto the Lord all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head. (I Sam 1:11)
For this child I prayed, and said, My heart rejoiceth in the Lord, mine horn is exalted in the Lord: my mouth is enlarged over mine enemies; because I rejoice in thy salvation (I Sam 2:1)
For with God nothing shall be impossible. And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it unto me according to thy word... (Luke 1:37-38)
Less than 3 weeks later, a baby boy was brought to our home.
January 20, 2006
I had a lovely dream last night. I remember nothing except sitting with a little boy on my lap. He was about 4 years old, had a sweatsuit on and had beautiful dark hair. I was hugging him (had my arms around him from behind). He was laughing and I had my head against his--with his pretty hair.
(I had forgotten all about that dream until Daniel was about 3 and one day I was sitting with him and flashed back to that dream, because his hair was the very same as the boy in my dream. So I hunted through my journals until I found that entry.)
Feb 10, 2006
...today I was thinking about all the teens in foster care that no one wants.... I would totally take teenagers.... (I must have been thinking way down the road since I was 23 at the time)
Feb 12, 2006
During this past week I've been pondering a lot of things....and struggling to find a sense of purpose. Through a series of things I suddenly got this "vision" yesterday. I don't mean a vision where I was transported, but just like...well, I can't explain it. I could just "see" it. Backing up a little....I suddenly have become very fascinated with the idea of living close to nature and being more self-sufficient.....I want to grow a garden! I have never been exactly interested in vegetable gardening at all, until now. But going on....I just sort of pictured having a house with a garden. Then taking in foster kids of any age, but especially teens [was I crazy?!?]I had other ideas that went along with this. It seems kind of silly and far out but last night I was so excited to think about it that I was ready to plant my garden today! I can't take a foster kid today but I need to remember that today is today and tomorrow is not yet. I would even consider adoption.
March 9, 2006
Our foster parenting plans have taken quite a few variations and now we've settled on doing respite for therapeutic kids. It wasn't what I wanted but that's okay. Anyway we have a lot of stuff to do before the end of the month.
March 20, 2006
Last night we went to the shelter (DHS shelter) I love going there even though it breaks my heart. I just want to take the kids home. We plan to be certified through Bair at the end of this month. We are finishing up our last requirements.
April 9, 2006
We got certified for foster parenting this past Wednesday. I am so excited! I can't wait until we actually have a child here :)
Up until that time I had been struggling in my Christian walk and was in a time of deep discouragement. It was in April of 2006 that God totally turned my life around and I was revived spiritually. Our home was certified through the Bair Foundation which was a Christian agency that placed children who were considered "therapeutic." That meant they required a higher level of training and care because they frequently had emotional issues and often were on medication (or several medications as we soon found out)
During the rest of 2006 we provided respite care for over a dozen children ranging in age from 2-17. Often it was just for a weekend. Perhaps sometime I'll write more about that, but for now I will say that it was not easy! It was very stretching and I realized how much of God's love one really needs in order to truly love a hurting child or teenager. A brief excerpt from my journal December 2006 reads "Today we get the next two girls. Last weekend was hard. It was intense. Sometimes it was so hard to see past the external behaviors and attitudes and really love the girls. I had compassion and I know they both had a lot of hurts and needs, but the intensity of the situation would at times make me want to shut down and not want to love them. Fostering is really hard."
As the time drew closer for us to have to be re-certified through Bair, they were trying to find a young child to place in our home for longer term. Every child that was going to be placed ended up being placed in a different home. At that time we made the decision to leave Bair and be certified for "regular" foster care directly through DHS.
March 30, 2007
We're picking up our Bair papers next Tuesday so we are officially going with DHS. I'm excited. Last night on the news they were talking about the waiting child program. It just breaks my heart to see that!!!
April 2, 2007
(We had been at a house church meeting the day before) Yesterday _____ taught on "transition." It was good and thought-provoking. Sometimes it would be nice to know what I am transitioning to. I need discernment right now.
And then I followed that entry with several verses....though the verses speak of sons and also Mary's words to God which I have since referenced, at the time I believe I wrote the verses in regards to prayer. At least that is my recollection.
"And Hannah was in bitterness of soul and prayed unto the Lord and wept sore. And she vowed a vow and said, O Lord of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a manchild, then I will give him unto the Lord all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head. (I Sam 1:11)
For this child I prayed, and said, My heart rejoiceth in the Lord, mine horn is exalted in the Lord: my mouth is enlarged over mine enemies; because I rejoice in thy salvation (I Sam 2:1)
For with God nothing shall be impossible. And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it unto me according to thy word... (Luke 1:37-38)
Less than 3 weeks later, a baby boy was brought to our home.
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