April 19, 2007

April 19, 2007. The day my life changed forever. It started with a phone call in the morning. The DHS worker had been scheduled to bring our contract to sign in the afternoon. She called to ask if she could bring a baby boy when she brought the contract. He had spent a couple of nights in the hospital because of bone fractures and had spent one night at the shelter. Because of his injuries they wanted to get him into a home right away. So sudden and unexpected. My mom asked if she could call back with an answer. Her big concern was that he might cry a lot if he was in pain and would he cry all night? We prayed and said, well why not?

April 19, 2007. The caseworker walked through the front door that afternoon, contract in one hand baby carrier in the other.

A beautiful baby boy sleeping peacefully with a pacifier. A naive 24 year old who had no idea what was in store. And a "mimi" who wasn't "Mimi" yet because the infant was too young for us to have to worry about titles. All three of us were facing one hard journey. Good thing we didn't know it at the time!

That day all we knew was the baby had injuries; his arm was in a makeshift sling thanks to the shelter staff. We scrambled to gather baby supplies and make sense of all the paperwork and what was happening.  He was scheduled to have an MRI and full body scan within the week in order to assess all the injuries.

The goal was reunification with his parents. We could expect to have him for 6 months-1 year. Still we had no idea what that involved and were completely clueless as to how the court and child welfare system functioned. Looking back I realize I was so naive!

April 24, 2007
It has been an absolute delight to have Daniel here...even though it is a lot of work :) He is such a beautiful baby and so much fun! Babies are so neat! I didn't realize how amazing and fun they are.

May 28, 2007
Having Daniel here is bittersweet. I love being with him and taking care of him. It's always in the back of my mind that I am going to give him up someday

DHS asks that foster parents keep "life books" for each child so that they can take it with them when they move to another placement or return to their parents. We took pictures and I began working on a book for him, keeping track of his developmental milestones and other fun things. At various times we gave pages to his biological mother as well as kept pages here. I had planned to write letters to Daniel that I would send with him so that he would have a record of how much I loved him even though I figured that if he moved after a year he wouldn't remember me. This was the first letter I composed:

May 9, 2007
Dear Daniel,

I just put you down for a nap after rocking you to sleep; you looked so peaceful and adorable! Tomorrow it will be three weeks that you have been in our home. 

It has been so much fun to watch you grow and change! In the short time that you have been here we have watched you learn to suck your fingers, hold things, start to laugh, and kick your arms and legs.

I love to sit and "talk" with you and see you smile and laugh. I also love to watch you when you start kicking and waving your arms so energetically!

I didn't know it was possible to love a little baby so much. I feel that through your life God is teaching me so much about His love, and that He's also going to continue to teach me about true, agape love. I know that God wants me to learn to love with the kind of love that wants what is best for someone else.

You are so special and so loved. I really believe God has great things for your life and every day I pray that God's purpose for your life will be fulfilled. The first weeks you were here, I prayed for you all those nights that I got up to feed you. I will always have good memories of those nights I fed you and prayed for you and sang to you :)

The next few months were a learning experience for sure. I hope to write more about it soon. But for now, I'm tired!