My confession: I hate waiting. Daniel and I have this in common. It is nearly impossible to tell him there's going to be a surprise because he goes crazy with anticipation. In fact if I have a surprise for him I don't tell him because he can't handle the waiting!

During 2006 our family was a foster home for therapeutic children (I talk about it a little here.)We worked with the Bair Foundation and did respite for most of that year, primarily for teenage girls. Towards the end of 2006 we had decided that we were ready to have a placement for longer than just respite. There was one woman at Bair who was trying really hard to place one younger child in our home. At least three times she thought she had a child and she would call to give us info; we would think about it, say yes, start preparing...and then she would call back to say that the child's worker already had a different placement. I so remember that pattern of anticipation and then let down. My big desire at that time was to give a child a home for however long he/she needed one.

In 2007 when we decided to work directly with DHS and leave Bair we had no idea how long it would be before a child would be placed. At that time the Laura Dester shelter was almost always full to capacity. Often when I went there would be toddler beds and cribs filling the rooms. So when the DHS worker called the morning that we were to sign the papers and said she wanted to bring a baby we said yes, but I think in the back of my mind I wondered if it would be like it had been in the past where plans would change. This time though, the baby, Daniel, really came and life changed dramatically!

Fast forward to the end of 2012 and much to my great surprise I found myself ready to give fostering a try again. Or at least be open to the idea. By December of 2012 we had come into contact with a child at the shelter who seemed like he could fit into our family (not for adoption but for however long he needed a home....at least to get out of the shelter) We were excited at the possibility and began praying that he would be put into the right place. He had already been in the shelter for nearly four months and really needed to be in a home and have therapy for some of his needs. Within days his caseworker moved him out of the shelter and into a home in another town where he would have access to very specific therapy. Well after that anticipation it seemed that it was not God's will that he be here but perhaps our paths crossed so that he would have the prayers over his little life and maybe those prayers helped to move him into a good situation.

A few weeks went by and on January 3rd, 2013, our worker called and said there was a young boy who was being released from the hospital after receiving injuries from abuse and could we take him. He would have been close to Daniel's age and after hearing some of his story of course we were moved with compassion. Daniel agreed to having him come stay here and was willing to let this boy use the extra bed in his room (that was at the moment being used as a fort!) We were expecting that we were going to pick him up from the hospital on Thursday evening so we began to get his bed ready. The caseworker called several more times, each time with an update and changing information. By evening he was apparently going to be kept in the hospital one more night and we would have to wait until the next day, Friday, to know if he was coming or not. It looked like he might instead be going to a relative's house but no one was really sure. In the mean time we could pray. So in our night time prayers with Daniel we prayed for "James" that God's will would be done in his life and he would be kept safe and placed into the best possible situation.

Friday came and there was no word on him. All day long I was hoping the phone would ring; the bed was ready and waiting. By evening, no word from the caseworker but a different caseworker had told us that she didn't know what was happening with him but it had been a really bad situation and he needed prayer. That night I was at a prayer meeting still thinking about him; my mom texted me with an update that he was still in the hospital but would be released to a relative. I was disappointed but I figured that God must have wanted us to pray for him.

Part of me feels ready to love another child but I'm in the waiting process again.  Perhaps there will not be a child placed here and if that's the case I'm okay with that; God may have something completely different. My days are full with Daniel and we have our own challenges to still work through. But I'm willing. And maybe some of these children just need some people to pray for them and they will only be a name that I will lift up to God.

In my room I have a little wooden plaque that was painted by a child at the Laura Dester shelter it reads

One hundred years from now....

It will not matter what my bank account was,

the sort of house I lived in,

or the kind of car I drove

But the world may be different because I was important

in the life of a child.

So whether it's parenting, mentoring, praying for, playing with, or just being kind to a child I guess I'll just continue to walk one day at a time and see what God will do.