end of the week reflections

Little man slept through the night last night, which made for a much better day today. After our homeschool co-op this morning and nap time in the early afternoon I took both boys to a park to play and then out for frozen yogurt while my mom caught up on her business! I was happy the day was going so well....until it started to go downhill again. Little man got impatient for dinner, and Daniel got tired of hearing screeching. Poor Daniel has decided he has no use for a toddler and he is really struggling with his feelings.

I tried to explain to him that Little Man just needs love for now. He needs a safe and loving home until they decide that it's time for him to go back to his own mama. Daniel still feels threatened and worried.

And me...well I heard a statement tonight that is sticking with me. I don't need to be doing things for God, but doing things IN God. I don't really think of fostering as something I'm doing for God, but even so I need to do it in God, with God; because a part from Him I don't have the wisdom to guide Daniel through this situation.

Last night I was just reflecting on life. I probably could go live and work in an orphanage and be pretty happy. Give me a baby to hold and I'm content. But that's likely not going to be happening. I don't see myself going overseas and I don't believe that Daniel would thrive. He craves stability and has expressed the desire for a bigger family with two parents and siblings--although he's getting a dose of reality with a toddler in the house!

But here I am with one adopted child and now getting back into fostering for however long it may last. And sometimes I wonder why I had to do things so differently. I'm not regretting it at all but couldn't I have done life the way most people do life? I mean even now, it's in me to care for little ones again and I can't help that I have a heart for abused kids....but sometimes I feel so different. I just can't turn my heart off though....

And now, I will hope that everyone sleeps tonight because it's going to be a busy weekend and who knows what next week will hold.