Sunday, November 27, 2011

just thoughts....

wow, it's been a while since I've written here. I have wanted to write about some of my thoughts and the various transitions in these past few months, but the days have gone by so quickly that by the time the house is quiet I am too tired to pull the computer out.

There have been life transitions recently, some good and necessary, all of them hard (for me). I don't really seek after change; all of my life I have been slow to warm up to new ideas....always wanting to test the waters before plunging in.

The passing of my maternal grandma at the end of September meant loss and change. Following her passing were two out of town trips, which included the opportunity to see family members that I had not seen in several years. It marked the closing of semi-regular trips to Ohio that have been a part of my life for almost as long as I can remember, and saying goodbye to her condominium which held many memories.

Meanwhile, my days continue to fly by. Daniel is growing and changing and with his growth I have had to grow as well. I have had to expand my world and be willing to make necessary changes. At times it leaves me feeling uncertain and not quite sure where I fit in life. But nothing stays the same and it requires me to be open to whatever God has next. I guess it could be called walking by faith.....I have to keep moving forward even though I don't know what's ahead!

And that is where I have to trust God. Daniel's child like faith reminds me of that. Lately, when he/we come against a problem his solution is to pray about it. A few weeks ago he and I were in the backyard; I sat and watched while he zoomed his trucks all over the yard. Daniel loves anything that has to do with cars, engines, tires, hubcaps, etc. On this particular day he was racing around with a Chevy Tahoe on which he had taped round magnets onto the hubcaps. (It was a perfect fit and it made the hubcaps look black.) Suddenly he began screeching that one of the magnets had fallen off and would I please find it for him. The request was along the lines of finding a needle in a haystack, except in this case it meant finding a small quarter sized magnet somewhere in the leaves and clover of the backyard.

I started to help him look for it, asked him to retrace his steps and meanwhile I was thinking to myself, "should I remind him to pray about this situation?" I want him to grow up to be someone who takes all of his problems to God but this situation just seemed big to me for some reason. It was at a time when I was wrestling with my own questions about God answering prayer and I worried that if Daniel prayed that God would help him find the magnet and then we didn't find the magnet that it would be a disappointment (I was probably more worried about my own fragile faith at the moment) I went ahead and suggested that Daniel and I ask God to help us, which we did.

We continued to shuffle around the yard, digging around leaves--he apparently had covered nearly every square inch of the yard with that Tahoe. Meanwhile I was praying in my head, reminding God that it would mean a lot to Daniel to find the silly magnet.

Finally after circling the yard and following whatever tread marks I could see, I saw the magnet lying in a bit of brush. Daniel was happy and excited, we thanked God and he moved on to the next thing. I gave God extra thanks for once again answering Daniel's prayers for one of those little things that mean so much to him.

Daniel also has some pretty big prayers, beyond my ability to answer. I hope these little prayers encourage his faith. They encourage me to believe God to answer the bigger ones.

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