thinking about fostering continued....

For some reason my thoughts kept on going after I published my last post.....

Especially with a newborn, people almost always ask "are you hoping to adopt her?" I guess because frequently people do want to adopt newborns/infants and also there is a bonding that happens with an infant. I never know quite how to respond, because I am a foster parent. I have adopted, and I am not opposed to adopting again, but at the moment I am not adopting. I am fostering.

Recently when a woman asked me that and I hesitated as I tried to think of the right answer to that question, she answered for me, "you are doing this as unto the Lord." And I said yes. I could think of no better way to explain it. Then she furthered answered, "but your arms are open for as long as she needs them." And I said yes.

My feeling is that I am here to love the baby as I would my own. But for the time being, the court's plan is to work for reunification. Every parent has the right to parent their own child if they can provide a safe home. In the event that that goal is not met, then it is the time to think further. But now is definitely not that time.

I explained in my earlier posting what the ideal is when working towards reunification. But I think that even if a case moves to an adoption plan instead, it is still best for everyone if there is an amicable, respectful relationship between the biological parent and the foster/adoptive parent. More than just amicable, I've seen that it works best when it is clear that all parties want the best for the child and it is not a tug of war over the child.

I do not think that Daniel should have gone back to his natural parents. Experts, professionals, and the jury all came to that same conclusion that it was in Daniel's best interest to not be returned to their care. However I do sometimes wish that things that happened during those two years could have been different. His parents have moved forward with their lives and I hope that things go well for them. I still dream about his biological mother every so often though, and I sometimes wonder whether I will ever see her again.

Learning from that experience, I guess that's why I hope that whatever the outcome of this current situation, that I will be able to walk in love and that we can all work for the best interest of the baby. The story is in God's hands; I just hope I can do my part well.