thinking about fostering.

As a foster parent, I just have to get this off my chest..... I really don't like it when a person hears you have an infant and they say "oh it's going to be so hard to give them up!" I haven't been quite sure WHY it irritated me so much when people said something like that, so I started to try to figure it out.

It's never another foster parent who makes a statement like that. They already know about saying good-bye and there's no reason to give that reminder. Every foster parent goes into fostering knowing that you are investing into a child wholeheartedly, but that the likely outcome is that the child will be returning to their natural parent(s). There is the chance that plan may change to adoption and that the foster parent may be the one chosen to adopt, but for as long as the case plan is reunification then the job of the foster parent is to love that child, give them a home, and work to support the goal of reunification to whatever extent you are able.

Is it hard to hold a precious baby and think that he/she will be leaving someday? Yes. Do I need that reminder from people who have never gone through it themselves? No. But a foster parent loves because there are children that need love and a home, for however long it may be.






I have actually never had an infant straight from the hospital, and the only infant I had for a long period of time was Daniel whom I ended up adopting. So in reality I have no idea how hard goodbye will be. I know that we loved Little N, a toddler, and still talk about him and miss him. But if and when reunification occurs, I know what my hope is.... my hope is that our family will have a good relationship with Baby B's mother. I hope that there will be plenty of time for our lives to overlap during the transitional period. I hope that we will have a trusting relationship with her so that there can be a continuing relationship and we can continue to be a support. Of course things may not go that way....I have no way to know at this point. The family situation currently is messy and complicated and sometimes I don't even know how to pray for a solution because it is beyond my wisdom. But when I think of what the ideal would be, then I feel that the statement "It will be so hard to say good-bye..." is just not that accurate. Hard? Yes, a child leaving would definitely leave a hole in the family. But the pain would be lessened I think when you are a part of healing, redemption, and love.