As a teenager, my plan for my life was to get married when I was 21 and then by the time I was 30 I would have about 3, maybe 4 kids. Yeah, I had it all planned out!
21 came and went and I didn't meet Mr Right, but I muddled around in college a little trying to figure out "what I was going to be when I grew up."
During that time I started volunteering on a regular basis at the children's shelter in my city. I loved it. I love children and was absolutely delighted to rock babies and play with toddlers. I became interested in fostering and finally found a direction for education. I would foster and work on a degree so that I could be a therapist working with abused kids. My goals were clarified, and now I dreamed of helping lots of children....fostering, adopting, therapy, advocating.
In 2007 I started fostering a baby (Daniel) and continued to slowly work on a degree. I graduated in 2010 and adopted Daniel that same year.
One child. Life right now is so different than what I pictured it would be. I had planned to have lots of children--biological, fostered, adopted....and today I have one child.
That's not to say that someday I might still have more children...whether biological or adopted or both...I don't know. (Daniel is hoping so!) But for today God has asked me to invest in one.
And I have tried to give that one 100% as best I can. When his attachment seems shaky I try to be patient and spend one on one time to strengthen his trust and security. I remember one time when he was a toddler and he was trying to talk and show me things for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was so tempting to be impatient or bored but I reminded myself that I was investing into the future. If I can lay a good foundation now while he is young, then I believe it will pay off when he is older. I spent a year doing pretty intense therapy with him.....until I was so tired that I had to take a break!
Sometimes one can take so much energy. We've considered fostering again. A year ago I planned to begin volunteering as a CASA--Court Appointed Special Advocate--working on behalf of a child in DHS custody. I've considered volunteering at the shelter again. And each time I come back to the fact that Daniel is only 5. He's had 3 stable years now and it's not time for me to go out and spend a lot of hours helping other children--yet, even though part of my heart still wants to! I still do want to volunteer in CASA--even if it's when I'm 50! Or maybe go back for a master's degree someday and be a therapist.
So on those days when I feel like I wish I could do so much more to change the world, I ask God to help me remember that one is important to Him. And maybe this one will go on to do great things. And maybe someday I will still have opportunity to reach more. But for today I hope I can be faithful to pray for, teach, and guide my one.
Showing posts with label fostering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fostering. Show all posts
Friday, October 5, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
and life goes on
We spent several days prepping for a garage sale which he had last weekend. In the process I had to sort through Daniel's baby and toddler items. Whatever was left I posted on Craigslist ::sigh:: it put me in a sentimental mood, realizing how quickly time is passing and taking me back again to memories of his baby and toddler days.
As trite as it sounds, it really seems like yesterday that Daniel was a baby. And yet it also seems so long ago since much of the events occurring during that time have been pushed out of my mind.
Allan's case took several weeks to be transferred to the appropriate DHS department--to a permanency planning caseworker. During that time we attempted to settle into a routine, read through his case file, and figure out what we were doing!!!
By June, when Daniel was 5 months old, we had met the permanency planning worker. He would be creating a plan for the biological parents to complete in order for Daniel to be returned to their custody. He also established a plan for supervised visitation between Daniel and his biological parents at the DHS office.
Under pediatrician's guidance and with the help of Sooner Start therapists, we were working with Daniel to be on track with developmental milestones. Due to rib and arm fractures he lacked upper body strength and needed help with being on his tummy and pushing up. By this time, although he was supposed to start sleeping through the night, he was experiencing what was described as night terrors, sometimes during naps, often at night. Sleepless nights were normal and the night terrors increased in the nights following visitations.
I had read through all of Daniel's case file which included pages of hospital records. It was very tedious but I was determined to know all about Daniel's history. As we met with attorneys and caseworkers throughout the summer of '07 I was surprised that several of them seemed to be uninformed about what exactly had brought Allan into DHS custody. Of course each of them had far more cases than they were supposed to have since "the system" is overloaded. It was frustating though to feel as if no one had the time to thoroughly look at Daniel's case as decisions were being made.
When parent visits became more regular at the DHS office, my mom took Daniel for the one hour visit. We felt it would be more comfortable for the parents since she could be more of a mother figure to them and help "coach" them in the visits.
Although the parents had started taking parenting classes, the state had surprisingly opted to bypass a treatment plan and the decision of the Assistant District Attorney was to terminate parental rights. A jury trial was scheduled for the beginning of September. If rights were terminated Daniel would be available for adoption. Well, adoption wasn't my plan and since he would have been in our home such a short time I would not necessarily be looked at as first choice.
Monday, September 10th, 2007, was the day jury selection would begin. My mom was planning to be at the court house. An attorney called our home mid morning to inform us that the ADA decided to drop the case. DHS would draw up a treatment plan and work for Daniel to be sent home within a few months. And oh, yeah, the case would be transferred to another worker within a few weeks. I don't do sudden changes well and these changes required more strength than I felt I had at that moment.
I jsut remember sitting in my bed that night praying, praying, praying. And the emotional roller coaster was just starting.
As trite as it sounds, it really seems like yesterday that Daniel was a baby. And yet it also seems so long ago since much of the events occurring during that time have been pushed out of my mind.
Allan's case took several weeks to be transferred to the appropriate DHS department--to a permanency planning caseworker. During that time we attempted to settle into a routine, read through his case file, and figure out what we were doing!!!
By June, when Daniel was 5 months old, we had met the permanency planning worker. He would be creating a plan for the biological parents to complete in order for Daniel to be returned to their custody. He also established a plan for supervised visitation between Daniel and his biological parents at the DHS office.
Under pediatrician's guidance and with the help of Sooner Start therapists, we were working with Daniel to be on track with developmental milestones. Due to rib and arm fractures he lacked upper body strength and needed help with being on his tummy and pushing up. By this time, although he was supposed to start sleeping through the night, he was experiencing what was described as night terrors, sometimes during naps, often at night. Sleepless nights were normal and the night terrors increased in the nights following visitations.
I had read through all of Daniel's case file which included pages of hospital records. It was very tedious but I was determined to know all about Daniel's history. As we met with attorneys and caseworkers throughout the summer of '07 I was surprised that several of them seemed to be uninformed about what exactly had brought Allan into DHS custody. Of course each of them had far more cases than they were supposed to have since "the system" is overloaded. It was frustating though to feel as if no one had the time to thoroughly look at Daniel's case as decisions were being made.
When parent visits became more regular at the DHS office, my mom took Daniel for the one hour visit. We felt it would be more comfortable for the parents since she could be more of a mother figure to them and help "coach" them in the visits.
Although the parents had started taking parenting classes, the state had surprisingly opted to bypass a treatment plan and the decision of the Assistant District Attorney was to terminate parental rights. A jury trial was scheduled for the beginning of September. If rights were terminated Daniel would be available for adoption. Well, adoption wasn't my plan and since he would have been in our home such a short time I would not necessarily be looked at as first choice.
Monday, September 10th, 2007, was the day jury selection would begin. My mom was planning to be at the court house. An attorney called our home mid morning to inform us that the ADA decided to drop the case. DHS would draw up a treatment plan and work for Daniel to be sent home within a few months. And oh, yeah, the case would be transferred to another worker within a few weeks. I don't do sudden changes well and these changes required more strength than I felt I had at that moment.
I jsut remember sitting in my bed that night praying, praying, praying. And the emotional roller coaster was just starting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)